I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas (Or Why I'm Watching That Christmas Movie)

That's right. It was August. Summer you might call it. Definitely summer. I watched a Christmas movie. Then there was September. It snowed, and I sang some Christmas tunes. There were more Christmas movies. And now it is October. My Pandora list of Christmas music is in full swing. I'm planning my decor. I'm buying presents and you can bet your sweet life that the Christmas movies will continue.
Here's the thing. Christmas music is almost a genre unto itself. Even Jingle Bell Rock, though purportedly 'rock', has a different sound to it, incomparable to non-holiday rock. Can you imagine how silly someone would sound saying that they would only listen to country between Memorial Day and Labor Day? Weird. That's me and Christmas. Movies, decor, music, and that's right, SPIRIT! Oh? What's that I hear? The content makes it time sensitive? Let's examine that shall we.

Now, I like Christmas in both a religious and secular fashion. I'll just say that for a religious factor, I celebrate Easter all year long, why not Christmas? If one believes what the spirituality of Christmas is about then why wouldn't they celebrate it year 'round?

So let's hit this from a secular angle. I've got three 'not-Christmas' movies paired against three Christmas movies. All picked fairly at random. I'll judge them on a scale of 1 to 10 in five categories: Values Worth Learning, Likable Characters/ Actors, Technical Production, Writing/ Story, and Time Specificity (That is - taking place or focusing on a day/ season/ event that is regularly occurring - the more explicit the time frame the lower the score).

1. Cool Runnings

Values Worth Learning: Perseverance, Courage, Teamwork, and Being True to Yourself. Not going to lie, this seems like a 7 until...

Man I love this bit.

I was slow clapped into giving them... 9 points

Likable Characters/ Actors: A classic ensemble style group of characters is at play here. I love the guys in this movie they are totally believe in each of their roles and perfectly cast. 10 points

Technical Production: Not horrible, but it really gives the vibe of a grown up Disney Channel Original Movie. 7 points 

Writing/ Story: Some of the humor is heavy-handed, and the warm-fuzzies are definitely heavy-handed. Quite a lot was changed from the true story. A story which is actually very interesting mind you, but I still enjoy what the writers eventually gave us. 7 points

Time Specificity: One could argue that this movie is revolving around a specific winter olympics... well that argument isn't holding water here folks. Because I can say the same thing for several Christmas movies. However since the point is about the time that they were first there... 5 points

Grand Total: 38/50 points - 76%

2. The Sound of Music

Values Worth Learning: Courage, Family, and Finding Your Vocation in Life. 8 points

Likable Characters/ Actors: I am totally and completely in love with not only the characters but the actors. And honestly, before there was Hans (Frozen), there was Rowlf. I trusted you! I continue to fall for him every time I watch and feel the heartbreak whenever he blows that whistle. 10 points

Technical Production: Even if you don't like musicals, you have to admire the scope of this movie. If Maria singing on a mountaintop doesn't stir anything within you then you must have a giant whole in your heart. 10 points

Writing/ Story: So I realize that I just finished saying that Cool Runnings was changed from the true story. But I'm forgiving SoM that same fault. If you don't like that you can leave. The thing is, the climax manages to feel climactic every time, and the true story... well the climax wasn't too climactic at all. 10 points

Time Specificity: Unless the music festival is what you consider the focus of the film, there is not really a particular event this movie revolves around. 10 points

Grand Total: 48/50 points - 96%

3. The Princess Bride

Values Worth Learning: Courage, Tenacity, and Sacrifice for Love. 6 points

Likable Characters/ Actors: One doesn't become a cult classic without likable characters. The heroes are admirable, the villains are awful. But only a few actors really stand out for me (you know which ones, I'm sure). 8 points

Technical Production: Ummm.... not horrible. But need I remind you of this:

Yeaaaaaaahhhh...

...5 points

Writing/ Story: A very clever script rescues some of the campier aspects of the technical production. It is incredibly quotable to the point that even if you haven't seen the movie, you have certainly heard parts of it. I especially love the cut-scenes of the kid and his grandfather. 9 points

Time Specificity: None. 10 points

Grand Total: 38/50 points - 76%

Now the Christmas films!

1. Muppet Christmas Carol

Values Worth Learning: Kindness, Happiness, Charity, and Generosity. 9 points

Likable Characters/ Actors: This is my favorite outing for the Muppets (my second favorite being Treasure Island, I dig their literary adaptations). And Michael Caine makes my heart absolutely melt. I hold that he is not only the best Scrooge ever, but the best transformation in cinema. 10 points

Technical Production: Quite good considering just how many of the actors are puppets. A couple of masterfully choreographed songs bring my value up a little. 8 points

Writing/ Story: Must say, of all the Christmas Carol adaptations I've seen this is far and away the most faithful. I can't even read the book without hearing some of the characters voices. 10 points

Time Specificity: Well poo. This category was designed specifically to serve as a downfall for the Christmas movies... 3 points

Grand Total: 40/50 points - 80%

2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Values Worth Learning: Being Yourself, Friendship, Good Oral Hygiene, Accepting Others. 9 points

Likable Characters/ Actors: Only one character leaves me wanting more in this film: Yukon Cornelius. That being said, the others aren't bad, they just don't have a whole lot to add to the pot. 6 points

Technical Production: The grand-daddy of today's stop motion animation... hasn't aged well. My dad assures me that it used to be cutting edge, but I'm not totally convinced. Actually I be  inclined to give two more points if Rudolph's nose didn't make such an awful noise. 5 points

Writing/ Story: A charming story that adds enough plot and background to a 30 second song to make a short film out of. That is an impressive accomplishment. 8 points

Time Specificity: Could be absolutely any Christmas. 1 point

Grand Total: 29/50 points - 58%

3. The Polar Express

Values Worth Learning: Belief, Kindness, and Generosity 7 points

Likable Characters/ Actors: Everyone from the conductor to the children to Santa Claus himself plays an enjoyable role in this film without being overdone or hokey. I think that most of the characters that were invented just for the movie filled important roles and I adored the little girl.  8 points

Technical Production: Some people say that this train took a tour through the uncanny valley. I'm not getting that vibe, I think that the people look fine and the environments are absolutely gorgeous, especially the train. 9 points

Writing/ Story: Sometimes when you pad out children's books into full length movies you end up with a very, very bad product. Not this time, the additions worked well and kept to the spirit of the book without adding any unnecessary hubris. 10 points

Time Specificity: Again this could basically be any Christmas. 1 point

Grand Total: 35/50 points 70%

So, the final tally stands thus:

Sound of Music - 96%, Hey, a cinematic masterpiece is hard to beat. (Guess what? I will even watch this at Christmastime.)

Muppet Christmas Carol - 80%, You caught me. I think this movie is nearly flawless. Who cares when it is set? This is the movie that I mentioned watching in August. I've also watched it in May - no shame.

Cool Runnings/ Princess Bride - 76%, Neither of these are high cinema, but they are really fun movies that you can enjoy in almost any circumstance.

The Polar Express - 70%, A fun film, not as much meat to it as many others but it was based off a picture book.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - 58%, This is the one I'm most likely to watch only at Christmas time. Why? Well, it is cute and has warm-fuzzies aplenty, but the technical production isn't outstanding.

So there you have it, one Christmas movie at the lead of the pack, one slightly behind our other films, and another far behind. *Gasp* it would seem that Christmas films have varying quality much like any others!

My Netflix Recommendations: Mystery and Crime

As a single teacher living in the arctic who really enjoys good movie and even better TV but doesn't get any channels at all there is one thing that has been a boon to me on exceptionally late weekend nights: Netflix.

Ooooooo Netflix. There is so, so, so much to choose from. But I have this problem where I watch the old and familiar instead of something new on about 80% of occasions. I also don't generally find things I don't like, I know my tastes pretty well and rarely end up with a stinker.  My ratings for ages are skewing pretty conservatively - just for your information. But certain kids can take things better than others, preview and make your own judgement call.

For this first one let's examine the seedy underworld of crime... usually with death.

Bones - A bit more gruesome than I expected going into, the bodies are often... gooey. Still it is great fun and I love the ensemble of characters with all their backstories. I binge watched this one through season 6 or 7 and haven't caught up since. There are currently 9 seasons available. I really like Booth but the poor man needs to get himself to an apologetics class. (High school and up)

Murder, She Wrote - A classic. This is mystery show in the olden vein. No DNA, no fancy labs, just old-fashioned work and deduction. When my family watched these for the first tim we would often try to be the first to guess who did it. I usually failed. But Angela Lansbury makes this a show not to be missed. (Upper Elementary)

CSI:NY - Two installments from this franchise can be found on Netflix. Both are good but this one is my favorite. The current crime show formula was popularized by the first installment in this franchise. But there are also several overarching stories related to the side characters that make it also a drama. (High School)

Hoodwinked - So, so, so corny. I love it. It takes a familiar story and rewrites it as a mystery that we get to see from everyone's point of view, and they are quite amusing in the ways that they overlap. My favorite character by far is the wolf. He isn't a bad dude, he's just a journalist. Just don't bother yourself with the sequel. (Elementary)

Leverage - Not technically mystery. Sort of crime dramady... Here's the thing, the crew in this show are basically modern day Robin Hoods. They know what they do is illegal, but they are out trying to make retribution for people that can't do it for themselves. Moral quandaries abound, but I love this show. I'm not sure what it is about human nature but most people love a good bandit. (High school)

Psych - I love, love, love this show. Even at it's worst I love it, because I've seen it at it's best. It is one of the funniest shows I've seen in a long time ever. I've watched the musical movie for the show an embarrassing number of times. Shawn and Gus are basically the perfect foils to each other. The humor actually is a lot more clever than anyone in the show gives it credit for. My favorite part? It uses some of the modern crime show formula (DNA and sparkly labs) but it really is a throwback to old-school PI shows. (High school)

Clue - The grand-daddy of campy mystery. Okay maybe not. But certainly the best movie ever based off of a board game. Seriously, it is based of that game in your closet, the one with characters named after the colors of the pawns. But it works. It works so, so well. Plus you can pick your favorite ending (some of which make more sense than others). (Middle School)

Charade - This one is technically billed as a thriller. But that seems a minor thing when there are bad guys trying to kill you. If you love the classics this is the choice for you. I mean the leading roles are filled by Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant, I'm not sure it can get any classier. Netflix has a pretty decent transfer of this film. Fun fact: this movie entered public domain instantly upon release because nobody bothered to put a copyright symbol in the credits... oops. (Upper Elementary)

The Great Mouse Detective - And one for the kids. Sure the mystery is never actually that mysterious, but this is an excellent introduction to the genre in my opinion. There are some scary parts, but I think that this movie holds up fairly well for all ages and is definitely one of Disney's most underrated movies. (Elementary... heh-heh)

There are so many more! But this list was already longer than I intended. I might need to do a separate list of British mysteries on Netflix because they are practically a genre unto themselves.

Follow this link for Halloween recommendations and more!

http://www.catholicallyear.com/2014/10/halloween-for-kids-on-netflix-streaming.html