Here's the thing. Christmas music is almost a genre unto itself. Even Jingle Bell Rock, though purportedly 'rock', has a different sound to it, incomparable to non-holiday rock. Can you imagine how silly someone would sound saying that they would only listen to country between Memorial Day and Labor Day? Weird. That's me and Christmas. Movies, decor, music, and that's right, SPIRIT! Oh? What's that I hear? The content makes it time sensitive? Let's examine that shall we.
Now, I like Christmas in both a religious and secular fashion. I'll just say that for a religious factor, I celebrate Easter all year long, why not Christmas? If one believes what the spirituality of Christmas is about then why wouldn't they celebrate it year 'round?
So let's hit this from a secular angle. I've got three 'not-Christmas' movies paired against three Christmas movies. All picked fairly at random. I'll judge them on a scale of 1 to 10 in five categories: Values Worth Learning, Likable Characters/ Actors, Technical Production, Writing/ Story, and Time Specificity (That is - taking place or focusing on a day/ season/ event that is regularly occurring - the more explicit the time frame the lower the score).
1. Cool Runnings
Values Worth Learning: Perseverance, Courage, Teamwork, and Being True to Yourself. Not going to lie, this seems like a 7 until...
Man I love this bit.
I was slow clapped into giving them... 9 points
Likable Characters/ Actors: A classic ensemble style group of characters is at play here. I love the guys in this movie they are totally believe in each of their roles and perfectly cast. 10 points
Technical Production: Not horrible, but it really gives the vibe of a grown up Disney Channel Original Movie. 7 points
Writing/ Story: Some of the humor is heavy-handed, and the warm-fuzzies are definitely heavy-handed. Quite a lot was changed from the true story. A story which is actually very interesting mind you, but I still enjoy what the writers eventually gave us. 7 points
Time Specificity: One could argue that this movie is revolving around a specific winter olympics... well that argument isn't holding water here folks. Because I can say the same thing for several Christmas movies. However since the point is about the time that they were first there... 5 points
Grand Total: 38/50 points - 76%
Values Worth Learning: Courage, Family, and Finding Your Vocation in Life. 8 points
Likable Characters/ Actors: I am totally and completely in love with not only the characters but the actors. And honestly, before there was Hans (Frozen), there was Rowlf. I trusted you! I continue to fall for him every time I watch and feel the heartbreak whenever he blows that whistle. 10 points
Technical Production: Even if you don't like musicals, you have to admire the scope of this movie. If Maria singing on a mountaintop doesn't stir anything within you then you must have a giant whole in your heart. 10 points
Writing/ Story: So I realize that I just finished saying that Cool Runnings was changed from the true story. But I'm forgiving SoM that same fault. If you don't like that you can leave. The thing is, the climax manages to feel climactic every time, and the true story... well the climax wasn't too climactic at all. 10 points
Time Specificity: Unless the music festival is what you consider the focus of the film, there is not really a particular event this movie revolves around. 10 points
Grand Total: 48/50 points - 96%
Values Worth Learning: Courage, Tenacity, and Sacrifice for Love. 6 points
Likable Characters/ Actors: One doesn't become a cult classic without likable characters. The heroes are admirable, the villains are awful. But only a few actors really stand out for me (you know which ones, I'm sure). 8 points
Technical Production: Ummm.... not horrible. But need I remind you of this:
Yeaaaaaaahhhh...
...5 points
Writing/ Story: A very clever script rescues some of the campier aspects of the technical production. It is incredibly quotable to the point that even if you haven't seen the movie, you have certainly heard parts of it. I especially love the cut-scenes of the kid and his grandfather. 9 points
Time Specificity: None. 10 points
Grand Total: 38/50 points - 76%
Now the Christmas films!
1. Muppet Christmas Carol
Values Worth Learning: Kindness, Happiness, Charity, and Generosity. 9 points
Likable Characters/ Actors: This is my favorite outing for the Muppets (my second favorite being Treasure Island, I dig their literary adaptations). And Michael Caine makes my heart absolutely melt. I hold that he is not only the best Scrooge ever, but the best transformation in cinema. 10 points
Technical Production: Quite good considering just how many of the actors are puppets. A couple of masterfully choreographed songs bring my value up a little. 8 points
Writing/ Story: Must say, of all the Christmas Carol adaptations I've seen this is far and away the most faithful. I can't even read the book without hearing some of the characters voices. 10 points
Time Specificity: Well poo. This category was designed specifically to serve as a downfall for the Christmas movies... 3 points
Grand Total: 40/50 points - 80%
2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Values Worth Learning: Being Yourself, Friendship, Good Oral Hygiene, Accepting Others. 9 points
Likable Characters/ Actors: Only one character leaves me wanting more in this film: Yukon Cornelius. That being said, the others aren't bad, they just don't have a whole lot to add to the pot. 6 points
Technical Production: The grand-daddy of today's stop motion animation... hasn't aged well. My dad assures me that it used to be cutting edge, but I'm not totally convinced. Actually I be inclined to give two more points if Rudolph's nose didn't make such an awful noise. 5 points
Writing/ Story: A charming story that adds enough plot and background to a 30 second song to make a short film out of. That is an impressive accomplishment. 8 points
Time Specificity: Could be absolutely any Christmas. 1 point
Grand Total: 29/50 points - 58%
3. The Polar Express
Values Worth Learning: Belief, Kindness, and Generosity 7 points
Likable Characters/ Actors: Everyone from the conductor to the children to Santa Claus himself plays an enjoyable role in this film without being overdone or hokey. I think that most of the characters that were invented just for the movie filled important roles and I adored the little girl. 8 points
Technical Production: Some people say that this train took a tour through the uncanny valley. I'm not getting that vibe, I think that the people look fine and the environments are absolutely gorgeous, especially the train. 9 points
Writing/ Story: Sometimes when you pad out children's books into full length movies you end up with a very, very bad product. Not this time, the additions worked well and kept to the spirit of the book without adding any unnecessary hubris. 10 points
Time Specificity: Again this could basically be any Christmas. 1 point
Grand Total: 35/50 points 70%
So, the final tally stands thus:
Sound of Music - 96%, Hey, a cinematic masterpiece is hard to beat. (Guess what? I will even watch this at Christmastime.)
Muppet Christmas Carol - 80%, You caught me. I think this movie is nearly flawless. Who cares when it is set? This is the movie that I mentioned watching in August. I've also watched it in May - no shame.
Cool Runnings/ Princess Bride - 76%, Neither of these are high cinema, but they are really fun movies that you can enjoy in almost any circumstance.
The Polar Express - 70%, A fun film, not as much meat to it as many others but it was based off a picture book.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - 58%, This is the one I'm most likely to watch only at Christmas time. Why? Well, it is cute and has warm-fuzzies aplenty, but the technical production isn't outstanding.
So there you have it, one Christmas movie at the lead of the pack, one slightly behind our other films, and another far behind. *Gasp* it would seem that Christmas films have varying quality much like any others!
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