Top Ten Tuesday

So..... this is where I let the internet in on my deep-dark-secrets. Haha, not really. I watched Moulin Rogue for the first time this weekend and... well it was weird. But I can see why people like it. However, it reminded me of this bit:

(by the way they totally swear in here, so head's up for tender ears in the cornfield)

Yup. I'm about to outline my guilty pleasures. Those things which I like but am embarrassed to like. Usually things that are waaaaaay outside my intelligence level, just plain bad, or something I normally look down upon. I am by no means a student of film, literature, or any other media, so when I say something is bad it is usually pretty obvious.

Also since it is a guilty pleasure it can't be something that I openly enjoy with no qualms. Is Dumbo outside my age range? You bet! But I'm not going to blush if you catch me watching it. See the subtlety? Anyway, ranked from mild blush to 'HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!!' here are my Top Ten Guilty Pleasures.

10. Guardians of Ga'Hoole

This one ranks so low because, as a book (series), the only way for you to really see what is going on is for you to have read them yourself. I find that exceedingly few people have actually read this series, so I'm pretty safe enjoying it in public. The guilt comes from the fact that these are probably a fifth grade reading level. Something I was way past before I ever opened one. Oddly enough the guilt does not transcend to the movie. I think that it was changed enough- plus the topics on film - make it much more... I don't know. Commonplace? Plus the art is gorgeous.

A talking animal fantasy - where the animals in question are pretty much only kinds of owls- it does a decent job of world-building. But it is really dark (pardon the pun) as well. Like, much darker than your average kids fare. It covers racial supremacy, kidnapping, brainwashing, war, nature-vs.-nurture, and a host of other topics that are completely the opposite of what I normally enjoy reading. I mean that's depressing stuff right? Except.... I can't get enough.

9. Star Trek TOS

Where

To

Begin?

I said it. Yes I watch this and realize it has a really devoted fan base. But I'm embarrassed that I enjoy it so much. Guys, it really is bad. The sets are bad, the writing is corny, and much of the acting... leaves something to be desired. However, it is fun - sometimes even thought-provoking. But guys, it's bad. I genuinely love it though, and will totally watch it on TV. Just don't expect me to make eye-contact with you if you catch me at it.

8. Independence Day

So everyone seems to have seen this movie, and most people seem to like it... but I'll stand my ground that it is actually not a good film by any definition of the word. But every once in a while I need an action movie in my life and it comes down to this film or Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park usually wins because DINOSAURS but, on occasion, what I really need in my life are massive explosions. That's where this film delivers.

7. The Chipmunk Adventure

Well, The Chipmunks were mildly annoying on the best of days, The Chipettes were exhaustingly annoying every day, and their remixes are atrocious earworms that eat away your brain cells. I can't even justify liking this movie. It has annoying characters, singing annoying songs, nonsense villains, a nonsense plot, and some of the most offensive racial stereotypes put to screen in the last thirty years. Yes, we're entering both truly bad and truly embarrassing territory now.

6. Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century

I think that the title speaks for itself, and trust me when I say that it is exactly what it says on the can. They reanimate the preserved body of Sherlock Holmes to work for New Scotland Yard. He then solves mysteries that are eerily similar to the ones he came up against in the Victorian age, all while coming to terms with new surroundings and his robotic assistant Watson. This show premiered before the RDJ movies and the BBC show, and honestly - I can't believe I'm crediting this - it gave Holmes back some of his dignity. He had been regulated for years to the musty, scholarly corners of literature. This show helped introduce kids to the badbutt that he actually is: Master of Disguise, Underground Fighter, and Overall Stronger Than You'd Ever Guess. Just when you start to think: "How bad could this be? Why should this be considered embarrassing?" the theme song plays.

Wow. Dat animation. Such narration. Much cheesy.

5. Lizzie McGuire Movie

There are some movies that you go to without friends, there are some you go to without family, there are some that you go completely by yourself.... and then there are movies where they literally flipped the switch just for you because no one else is there. Imagine wielding that power as a 13 year old. I did. Years later I get a weird satisfaction of having completely owned a giant screen for a private screening of this film. I get a little power trip just singing the song 'This Is What Dreams are Made of'. But really, I never made time to watch the TV show, never really did the whole teeny-bopper pop thing (I was, and still am, a John Denver kinda girl), romances, ESPECIALLY SUMMER FLING TEEN CRAP, rate pretty low on my list. And I haven't even mentioned the ridiculous graduation, the fact that the eighth grade graduates go to Europe with ONE chaperone, the pop star/identical twin but not really mix-up, and the LIP-SYNCING CONSPIRACY. Yet.... THIS IS WHAAAAAT DREEEEEEEAMS ARE MADE OF!!!!

Plus it all goes down in... the Colosseum?

4. H2O Just Add Water

We are now entering Officially Embarrassing. As in, admitted to a very few. So this is Australian children's programme about three teen girls that swim in a moonlit volcano and now every time they touch water they turn into mermaids! Things and stuff ensue. It contains all the teeny-bopperness of Lizzie McGuire but with fun accents... and an internet cafe. It is basically all the Disney shows that I despise of the past decade: (pre)-teen(s) has giant secret, known to only a few, must hide secret and deal with everyday life, secret is nearly revealed, must cover tracks, secret comes in handy, all is well. I don't know why I can suddenly accept it because they come from the land down under.

3. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

This gets sooooo stuck in my head.

This show has a somewhat famous following of adults. That doesn't stop me from enjoying it with the door closed and the blinds drawn. The colors! The music! The social caricatures stereotypes! The quirky animation style! Gah. I never meant to get so into it, but there it is. I've definitely Netflixed it the whole way through twice, with several episodes getting preferred treatment. I think we've spent enough time here...

2. Land Before Time Sequels

Somewhere along the line I did lose track...

I'm sorry for not being sorry. (Except, yes, I am sorry.) I can't take the nostalgia glasses off here, I view them with the same tenderhearted forgiveness I did as a child. You see... DINOSAURS. I've never been super-scholarly about them, or even a little scholarly - I've been known to use Land Before Time names for species - but I just love to LOOK AT THEM. And here is a whole fleet of dinosaurs without those darn scientists popping up every two minutes to tell me what I'm looking at. 

I have to believe that this maelstrom began with the best of intentions...

Universal Exec A: Man oh man. This Jurassic Park. Am I right?

Universal Exec B: You are correct. People are loving them some dinosaurs.

Universal Exec A: Hey, we should make a dinosaur movie for little kids. What kind of rights do we have in the way of dinosaurs?

Universal Exec B: Well.... Jurassic Park and... oh hey! Remember that animated one? With the baby dinosaurs?

Universal Exec A: Yeah, let's make a sequel. But tone it back and make it less scary. That Bluth man is making kid's feel all emotional.

And a series was born. Why it hasn't fizzled out we may never know. I am of course not ripping on the original (long live Bluth) but I think by now the entire world is aware that the original and the sequels basically exist in separate Mysterious Beyonds. What people may not know is that the original is edited to make it more child-friendly! There are ten missing minutes that are among the most drama-filled of the movie and we may never see them.

So what could possibly be guiltier than sitting down to Land Before Time VII???

1. The Tinkerbell Movies

I'M SORRY!!!

I do not like Tinkerbell as an entity. She is annoying as all get out. I'm not that big a fan of the Disney movie Peter Pan either. So explain to me how I CAN LIKE THESE MOVIES!!!! I don't get it, at all. They are predictable, corny, contrived, saccharine, and sort of ugly.

But sometimes... I lock the door, close the blinds, turn the volume down low, dim the lights, whisper 'Let's do this.', and press play.

There you have it! My top ten guilty pleasures! What are yours?  What should next week's Top Ten Tuesday be? Let me know!